As the Academic Administrative Assistant one of my duties is to order food for various occasions. The first Friday of every month we hold a communications meeting. The first 1/2 hour of this meeting is breakfast. Normally this is a minor task - that only consists of me deciding - eggs and bacon or french toast and juice. This week that very task is frightening to me. FRIGHTENING.
I know, I know 'You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.' Hell - half the time I hear half the people complaining about FREE food. This alone baffles me - and annoys me at the same time.
In a previous post you may have read that there is a "Biggest Loser" challenge going on at work. I, in my infinate wisdom, chose NOT to participate in this event. I am however aware of the various diets that people will try in order to lose weight. A few of my favorites are:
Atkins: We have ALL heard of the meat, cheese and veggie diet. I know at least one person at work that is going to take this approach. I tried this once - I about broke the bank trying to maintain this diet - not to mention the lack of caffine made me unbearable and my husband FORCED a Diet Coke in my hand a MADE me drink it. He hated me during that week.
South Beach: A healthy version of the Atkins diet. If I was to TRY a "formal" diet - this may actually be it.
Weight Watchers: Point value weight loss system. Great idea for people that don't like to change their diets and just want to watch their intake.
The Master Cleanse/Lemon Diet: If you haven't heard of this diet - you may be shocked at what people do to "cleanse" their bodies. For 10 days people drink nothing but a mixture of water, cayenne pepper, lemon juice and maple syrup. Yeah if you think you read that wrong - read it again. You will find you read it right. All I have to say it NASTY.
OK - at least 3 of these diets are being represented during the "Biggest Loser" contest at work. Have you ever tried to feed a bunch of cranky ass people during the first week of their diet? They keep asking me "What are we having?" "Can we have no carbs?" "Can we have low fat?" I went to the President of the college and asked her "Do we have to feed these people?" She said - "Yes we should" - but that very same question came to her mind - WHAT DO WE FEED THESE PEOPLE?
We made an executive decision to feed them breakfast casserole and fruit.
I wanted to get Krispy Kremes - funny - not many saw the humor in that. Shame.
7 comments:
LOL. You should have done!
When I was young and stupid, I went on a (planned) week-long detox diet. It consisted of boiled water. I lasted a day before the toxic migraine set in and incapacitated me for over 24 hours.
GMTA: I was going to suggest a giant platter of donuts and mocha lattes to wash them down.
If they're going to be so fussy, you could announce that breakfast is byo. Sorry, pet peeve of mine: critiquing the menu is bad manners.
This is why they should all be on my Atkins-Beach-Watchers diet!!!! It's the best of all worlds!!!!
I'm craving that cheezy potato casserole thing my sister in-law used to make -- the one that calls for frozen hashbrowns and a gazillion cubic yards of grated cheese? If you serve that for the company breakfast, I'll take the leftovers. Dang, I wish I had that recipe!
This reminds me of my Father-in-law. We used to work together in the summers. One summer, I said I'd like to shed the freshman 32. He said, "Let's train for the 5k at the end of the summer."
OH-Kay.
So we agreed to health up our diet & exercise. We weighed in every morning to log our progress. I didn't take it very seriously, to be honest.
After awhile, he was kicking my ass in the weight loss...so I said, "I just don't understand it. Why am I not losing any weight???"
My future FIL said, "What's in your mouth, Angie?"
Um. Half a dozen Tootsie Rolls.
"That might be why."
I didn't talk to him the rest of the day, but he had a point.
I was a free office food grazer.
And when that wasn't around, I was stealing candy off people's desks.
It would never have crossed my mind to suggest that everyone else stop bringing food and candy to work.
What I put into my mouth is my responsibility. It's not up to someone else to save me from myself.
Now, whenever I see donuts laid out for a group, I think about how many hands touched them before I got there, and my appetite is curbed.
Ah yes, Atkins. Losing wieght through malnutrition.
Look at me, I lost 60 pounds! Of course I now have heart disease and high cholestorol, I have zero energy, and my body is literally eating its own muscle tissue, but look how baggy my pants are!
Let them eat cake. Kidding.
People on particular and special diets should bring their own food.
Alpharat cracks me up.
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