Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Years Eve Hook-up of Mr. and Mrs. Chep

Eight years ago on New Years Eve I was "reaquainted" with Mr. Chep. Here's the story of how it happened....

It started back in NWIN when I worked for the parks department. I had moved into the on site apartment a few months prior - and my best friend from high school "Fucko" (you may have read about him in Kelscraggly's post "Take The Good Things From Every Relationship") had just gotten divorced and needed a place to stay - he moved the night before.

Being young - in a crappy apartment that was not my own - we decided to throw a party. All we needed now was guests.

Fucko called his friend in Indianapolis, I called our friends H & M and since my sister (K) was home from BSU for Christmas break I called her. She said she would think about it and let me know later. (She's a social butterfly - she had options unlike my created one!)

According to Mr. Chep - K called him up and asked him if he wanted to go to a bar. Mr. Chep (being the honest and logical person that he is) said:

  • Mr. C: I can't K - you know I'm not 21 until May
  • K: But I know the bouncer I can get us in!
  • Mr. C: I don't want to take that chance - you have any other ideas?
  • K: My sister is having a party at her new apartment.
  • Mr. C: That sounds like fun - I'll even drive.
  • K: OK
Fucko and I had purchased 3 cases of beer and made several dozen jello shots.
The next morning it was all gone (minus the cube tray full of jello shots made sometime during the night)

The events of the night are fuzzy. Even to this day. There are a few things I DO remember.

  1. My sister asked everyone "Are you a cop?" (Wee bit paranoid I'd say)
  2. I dumped Jell-o shots down Mr. Chep's back onto his favorite Hard Rock t-shirt (he still has it)
  3. Mr. Chep and I discussed me coming down to West Lafayette to visit Wolf Park when it got nice.
  4. I gave Mr. Chep my number and e-mail that night.
  5. I vaguely recall kissing Mr. Chep at midnight.

The rest is still fuzzy. We all woke up and felt the after effects of the beer. (I had one bathroom - Green Apple candles will never smell the same again)

A, Mr. Chep, K, Mrs. Chep, Mimi & Heath - not the best photo - but fun to share!

**If you look closely we had a 27" TV on top of a retro 25" console TV. NOPE not a redneck - the console actuallty worked!**

Then we all went and had pancakes.

What happens next you ask? Tune in - it will follow the actual timeline - so look for the next installment sometime later this month!

Have a Happy New Year!

For Zilla

I promised you my mom's trees when I got back - so here they are!

Friday, December 30, 2005

My Favorite Christmas Photos

This is my mother-in-law and Pepper - aren't they cute??

My sister and Pepper wearing the hat she gave her (dog isn't very happy)

Scuba Santa at the Newport, KY Aquarium

Weird Habits

I've been tagged by Kelscraggly!

Ground Rules: The first player of this game posts his or her 5 Weird Habits, then chooses 5 people to tag by listing their names at the end.

Weird Habit Number 1: I NEVER use flesh colored bandaids. It grosses me out. I am probably the only 31 year old human out there that would rather wear a Daffy Duck bandaid then one that matches my own skin. It irritates my husband because I don't allow him to wear them either. (He uses liquid bandaid or Duct Tape bandaids - makes him feel all manly)

Weird Habit Number 2: I smack my lips like an old person looking for their teeth when I'm tired.

Weird Habit Number 3: Before I leave work I must clean my desk so I don't come to work surrounded by clutter. It helps me focus at the start of the day.

Weird Habit Number 4: I, too bite my lip...usually when I'm thinking or off in la-la land. (OK copied this from Kelscraggly because I do it more than I should. I get it from my mother)

Weird Habit Number 5: I have plastic gloves in my kitchen to use when I am handling raw meat of any kind. (Oh yeah and I also use them when I am working with my hands on anything - so YUP that caramel I made you Writermom is germ free!)

OK I am running out of people to "tag" so I am tagging Segue - again - in case he didn't notice Kelscraggly's!

Home again.....

36 Hours ago I returned home from our 5 state holiday tour and I am already back at work. My house is a disaster. We are talking hard core pit. I am praying that Mr. Chep will find the energy to clean it today (he is off until next Tuesday).

It was great seeing all the family - but the highlight was lunch in Plainfield with Writermom, Dental Dad, Jack and Pickles. I hated leaving them (no this does not mean I am moving back to Indiana. Kelscraggly so put your knife down). I sure do miss you guys!

My laptop was being uncooperative last night which is why I hadn't posted last night. Hopefully I can tell my Christmas stories a little later.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Holiday Triangle

Tomorrow after I get off work starts the holiday travel. It's going to be a long weekend full of fulfilling visits - we are looking forward to the people - but not the drive.

In case your curious - 1057 miles in 5 days.

For the really curious: 16 miles/gal - approximately $145 in gas. Times like now I wish we had an economy car (not that Brad would even think about driving it at 6'5")

Due to the high cost of gas we decided to do Christmas in one big loop. Sounds like a good idea now...I will let you know how it goes when I get back. I already have an idea of how the start of all of this will go. Grandma called today. Don't get me wrong - I love my Grandmother but if I didn't know better I would think she was Jewish.

Gram (who rarely calls): I got your Christmas card today! I see you are spending Christmas in Kentucky - how are you going to get your presents from me?

Chep: Well, I don't know (loaded questions suck) - we are going to be in NWIN on the 23rd.

Gram: So how will you be travelling? What road do you take?

Chep: Well we go through Joliet on 53 and take the back roads.

Gram: Will you be on US30 at all? (Gram lives about 10 miles south of US 30)

Chep: No - we take 53 and then some other roads I am not sure about - it's all farmland.

Gram: Well can you take I-80 to US30?

Chep: Well - we COULD but the traffic is terrible. We avoid that area as much as possible.

Gram: Oh really?

Chep: Yeah - as soon as you get to Joliet it gets bad - and when you get to the bottlenecks just south of Chicago it's TERRIBLE.

Gram: Well......what time you going to arrive - what is it like a 3.5 hour drive

Chep: More like 4pm

Gram: Well you sure you are not going to go through St. John?

Chep: No Gram - the way we take dumps us out right in Lowell.

Gram: Well I guess I could come down to your mom's and see you there (Guilt, guilt, guilt)

Chep: That would be really nice!

Gram: Well I guess I will see you tomorrow at your mom's.

Chep: Great! See you there!

I decided NOT to give into this guilt trip. I am already traveling 357 miles just to get to my mom's house - and we don't get to spend much time with her as it is - so Gram will just have to come visit mom's. **OH yeah Mom and dad live 15 minutes south of Gram***

The round trip is a new thing this year - as we are not flying to KY as we have in years past. Let's pray for good weather - last year for Thanksgiving we got stuck going to KY on I-74. It was a mess - southerners don't do snow - (or shall I say do snow well).

Have a safe and Happy Holidays - I'll be back after the road trip!


Monday, December 19, 2005

It came today!!!

It came today!
It came today!

I mentioned to my husband that some people were waiting to open their gifts until Christmas Eve.

Since we are leaving early for the holidays (Thursday) I decided that I would open mine now.

He decided that wouldn't be appropriate If other people had to wait then I had to wait. Therefore he tried to hold it hostage.
I threatened to hold something else hostage if he didn't get it down from the top of the closet.

Needless to say I got my wish.

And I opened my package.

And to my surpise I got this beautiful (and artistic I might add) needlepoint! It is awesome! I love it!

I am going to hang it on my tree for now and then find a nice place for it in my house. If only the sender would have given me their name!!

Any way - thank you "Santa"!

**PS took me a minute to figure out how on earth my Secret Santa knew my nickname was "Chep" Guess I forgot I refer to myself as "Chep" on occasion!**

Friday, December 16, 2005

I saved a life.....

Yeah you read it right boys and girls....I - Colleen "Chepner" Hepner saved a life today.
Nope didn't push someone out of the path of a moving bus or revive someone using CPR.
I gave blood.
I didn't like it.

I commend those that can give blood and do so often. It's a good cause and I think that everyone that is able - does so at least once in their lifetime. I did it. I'm done.
When they announced the idea of a blood drive at the college I decided this was a great idea - but not for me.

When I asked for an article for the person that was planning the drive this is how it went down:

Chep: Hey M - can you write me an article about the blood drive?
M: Sure - it'll cost ya.
**uh oh - I feel a bribe coming on**

Chep: So what are we talking here? I just need a few paragraphs.
M: GREAT! I just need 1 pint.
Chep: Great when you want that beer?
M: Not beer - blood.
**oh shit - I hate needles**

Chep: I pass out when I get blood drawn. I don't think so.
M: You'll be fine- you want that article don't you?
**shit I don't have time to write an article**

Chep: Fine. I'll do it. But if I pass out you are to blame.

**Day of the blood drive**
1:45PM - my assigned time to give. I arrive. I wait (yeah this helps with anxiety)
2:00PM - answer a BILLION questions about my health (have you had sex with a man that has had sex with a man - ?)
2:15PM - sit down - Turbo (my blood drawing girl) sits me down and preps me to draw my blood. I warn her of my fainting issues. This phases her little.
2:20PM - Blood...woozy....I think I might faint.....
2:45PM - Coworkers come in to tease me about having a barf bag at my side....
3:00PM - Still laying on the cot after having my blood drawn....
4:00PM - Still being teased about passing out....

I think next time I'll just be Charlie Corpuscle!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

A Chepner Christmas Challenge.

OK - it's a short post today - once I have things back under control I will get more online - but for today it's a brief one.

I've noticed people posting nice pictures of their pretty trees and their sentimental ornaments. To be honest - my tree isn't all that pretty. I do however have some interesting ornaments.

Take these 2 for example. The top ornament was one of my yearly gifts from my mother. It's a sketch of the high school she went to and the middle school I went to. It always makes me think of home. Kind of like the one below it. Kelscraggly picked this up for me when she lived in Virginia Beach. Mr. Chep and I went to visit her there and pulling out that ornament makes me think of fresh fish and sand between my toes. AAHHH to have a little warmth now....

OK this one is a little blurry - for that I apologize. BUT - I think you can all figure out the "ornament" on the left. Yes I do believe my Straub beer cap will take the cake for the most unusual item on a Christmas tree. Think you can beat that? BRING IT ON!

There is a story behind the beer cap and the coal miner on the right. Each was picked up on our honeymoon.

My mother taught me a nifty little trick to remind yourself of your travels....pick up an ornament. Well - I didn't think of this on our honeymoon. BUT - we did visit a brewery in PA so I drilled a hole in a beer cap and hung it with some string. Not fancy - not pretty - BUT - I think of fresh beer off the Straub line at 8am and the fine people of St. Mary's, PA each time I put this on the tree. ;-)

So I challenge you all - to find an odd ornament and share it with all of us - can YOU beat my beer cap?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Week from hell...

I have been neglecting all of you - and for that I am sorry.

If you have been taking a peek at Kelscraggly's website you will notice that we have been getting some snow. Mr. Chep think's we have gotten about 8 inches. I had to pick up and drive home one of my co-workers and my boss couldn't get out of the parking lot with his Beamer so I had to take him home too.

I have been reading in on all of you - don't worry - maybe I will get some energy and be back next week.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Sock Doggie - Protector of Evil

Most of you have met Froggie. He was featured on a previous post as a model for our sketch project that Writermom gave us moons ago.

Meet Sock Doggie. Protector of Evil.

This was Sock Doggie's post this morning.

Sgt. Pepper strategically places her "soldiers" at unprotected entries to the house. Apparently she found the kitchen a particularly vulnerable location this morning.

I assure you this photo was not staged (as was the floating face in the bottle of beer on self-portrait Tuesday (good call Jamoker but you must admit kinda cool)

Anyway - in order to get the first photo Mr. Chep had to relocate Sock Doggie. For this, Sock Doggie had to pay the price. Sgt. Pepper does not tolerate insubordiation, even if it is approved by Major Chep. This was the price Sock Doggie had to pay for insubordination.

Slacking on the job is just not tolerated.

It's a good thing Sock Doggie doesn't run my office - or we would all be covered in dog spit!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Freaky but true...

I got this from Kelscraggly's website and it was pretty accurate!

Your Personality Profile
You are dependable, popular, and observant.Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.
You are unique, creative, and expressive.You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!
The World's Shortest Personality Test

Kickin Arse...

It snowed today in Iowa. Not shocking.
Mr. Chep suggested we not go anywhere because of the amount of snow that was to fall all day.
When I get bored - I clean. So I cleaned my fridge (finally) and behind the fridge and behind the is the end result. It looks like I need to go to the store.

You notice I am not showing the freezer. I did not tackle that.

I was too worried about the dust bunnies behind the fridge and the nasties behind the stove.

Mr. Chep said he needs to lock me up in the house more often. He said that as he was cleaning the top of the fridge. Then he dusted the family room. He's a good helper. I am thankful for that.

Hopefully you all had a more exciting day than I did!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Segue's Spank-a-thon

Happy Birthday Segue!!

Writermom challenged us to post some "spanks" for Segue. So here are a few of my contributions.
Love the Bush/Bart spanking!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Self Portait Tuesday (Taken on Thursday edited on Tuesday)

Mr. Chep left this evening for a conference in Madison, WI. He will be there until Friday.
Having him gone makes me feel a little like a half a bottle of beer.
Glad you have it but wish you had a little more to enjoy!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Mr. Chep - Perpetual Winner

This is Pit.

It is not a game for the timid. It is a game that defines our family. If you can hang in the game of Pit - then you will fit in with our crew just fine.

No Pit doesn't still look like this - but this is the game my parents have. Circa 1973. Retro. Beat-up from heated battles. This game rocks.

Not familiar with the game? Here's a quick summary.

Basically it's a LOUD card game. There are 7 different commodity cards (Corn, Flax, get the idea). ANYWAY - the goal of the game is to trade with other players until you have all 9 cards of the same commodity. You try to yell over other players to get people to trade with you. It's nuts. It's a blast.

Mr. Chep has never played this game. He comes from a very conservative family. They don't yell. Hell they don't even speak loudly at one another. Don't get me wrong - my in-laws are wonderful people. They just aren't - well - my family. Mr. Chep is a lot like his parents. My mother says he didn't speak 5 words the first 3 years they knew him (this was before we were dating/engaged/married but that is a story for another time).

Mr. Chep is reserved - for the most part - BUT - he is competitive. He wins at EVERYTHING. On our first date we played pool at the Purdue student union. He let me win. I could tell by the look on his face. It pained him. I told him never to let me win again. He hasn't.

He is good at everything he picks up. It makes me ill. Here's a perfect example.

My mom picked up this bow hunting game you see Mr. Chep playing at a resale shop - (because she needs more crap)...guess that's not the point. dad has had it for awhile. It didn't come with any directions (not that it would have made a difference) and the only thing my dad has figured out how to do is shoot at a stationary target at the range. In comes Mr. Chep. After 15 minutes Mr. Chep had already mastered the first 3 rounds of the game. Grrr. It took me all weekend to get to round 3.

On to the Pit game. My parents have been playing this game (drunk at parties) longer than I have been alive. Needless to say my sister and I and our spouses thought for sure we would be in for a loosing battle. Mr. Chep won the first round. I took the next 4 rounds. (By this time my neighbors - IN IOWA - could hear my father yelling "SHIT SHIT SHIT" at the end of each round). People were plotting against me. Much to their surprise - Mr. Chep ended up pulling ahead and sneaking in yet another win.

I found out later that Mr. Chep not only won the game but did it while watching CSI. How do I know this? When we came home and watched the recorded show - he told me what happened before the show started! ARGH!

One day I will find a game that I can win while playing him. I have one in mind - I just have to get him to play it with me.....any ideas???

Sunday, November 27, 2005

My E-bay Inheritence...

I have promised you photos of my mother's disease.

I know it isn't nice to tease people about their flaws.

This is my karma for doing so.

What is this you ask? Not sure what part of my pajama pants - but it's a photo of my pants after I fell down the stairs taking a picture of my mother's clutter. Oh yeah and I was drunk when I did it....told ya - good times over T-day.

Sorry mom - I made a promise - so here is a sample of the packratism at Chep's Parent's house.

My mother had a thing for tins. You know those collectable types. I am unsure of how it started - but it ended with a revamp of the dining room and the tins had to have a new home.

Dad Chep is a handy man. He put up some shelves in the basement to accomodate the collection. He did a nice job getting them all in there. That I will admit.

This room - has 3 TVs. One (in the center of the photo) which is set up for operation.

There are 2 on the shelving unit in the 2nd photo that are b/w and 13" or smaller. One is crossing guard orange. I thought about asking for it. I decided that I didn't have a use for it and decided against it. Not to mention Mr. Chep would have kicked my ass for bringing more stuff back to our little place. OK not literally - but he wouldn't be pleased. That's for sure.

Can you find the TV's?

I will post the answers in a future post.

I will admit that some of the clutter was caused by the sofa bed being pulled out. But not all.

Oh yeah and what was the photo that caused the drunken fall (where I think I bruised my rib)?

This one:

I do have more photos - but I think I should clear posting them with my mother. She has threatened bodily harm for sharing pictures of her garage - but it is so much better than before - maybe she will let me.

Let's hope.

Let's put it this way - she wasn't impressed with Fineartist's garage if that gives you any idea of it's condition.

Oh and by the way - fine work on kicking the garage's axe FineArtist!

Hometown madness

Congratulations to Lowell Red Devil Football!

I never thought it would happen.

Lowell High School Red Devils have won the 4A state championship!

When I attended LHS the football team won a total of 8 games. Nope - that's 8 games in 4 years. We went to the game to watch the marching band.

This is Lowell's first state championship - ever.

The Red Devils were unranked and beat the Roncalli Rebels and broke their 23 game post season winning streak.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

What a Thanksgiving!

I'm back!

I know you all missed me terribly - but I have to admit I had a great weekend (minus the 8 hours on the road).

First I want to introduce a new reader to my blog:

Meet Chep's Mom.

Don't worry she has read the prior posts. She does not live in denial of her packratism. She embraces it.

She's a spunky lady - but I can't say I expect her to create her own blog - so don't look for one anytime soon....

She did however embrace my new fangled idea of the Thanksgiving Tailgate. It was good times. We fried turkey, drank beer and played Pit.

This is Mr. Chep dropping the turkey into 350 degree oil.

If you have not had deep fried turkey - you should. It is tender, juicy and FAST!! This 13 pound turkey was cooked in just under 50 minutes.

And no - it isn't greasy!

You have met Chep's mom.

If Chep's mom is visiting - you can bet that Chep's dad will drop in from time to time.

This is Chep's dad.

He has my sense of humor don't you think?

Nope wasn't his idea to take the photo - but he did walk in with the pumpkin roll in a very provocitive location. I took advantage when he laid it on the table.

I crack me up.

It's getting late and I want to get this posted so I will continue with a post tomorrow about my future inheritence - aka: Chep Mom's collections.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Self portrait Tuesday

OK I cheated today. I am using a self portrait but from last year.
The top photo is of Me, Kelscraggly and our Prodical Friend Jen.
The bottom photo is of Jen and me.
Have a great Turkey Day if I can get online at mom's I will post.
Don't forget to check back next week to see photos from mom's pack rat house!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

The end of an era

I found out today that my favorite pizza joint in my hometown is closing for business. I actually make the trek back to NWIN for their pizza every few months. Just because I miss it.

It now appears that I will have to go elsewhere for NWIN style pizza.

It's been a sad day. Oh yeah and I found 2 more grey hairs. Urgh.

I'm hitting the sack. Tomorrow has got to be a little better.


Sunday, November 20, 2005

House call

Why will I avoid leaving Iowa at all costs? My dog groomer makes house calls.

Pepper had her eyebrows done today. It's amazing what a little trim can do.

The Movie of My Life is a Cult Classic

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic
Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.
Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski
If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Thanks Writermom!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

The Prodical Husband

We went shopping today to get peanut oil for the Turkey fryer. We came home with this:

It was my way to get Mr. Chep from begging for an I-pod. We do travel a lot and this will come in quite handy on the road. Mr. Chep has spent the evening attempting to install this little devise. That's OK - it has allowed me to play here and watch Harry Potter! The things we put up with when married to geeks!!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Google your what??

OK - Cheryl has some cool stuff on her site.

I am stealing this from her (which she stole from someone else - but whatever - still cool)

This is how you play.

Do a Google image search of the following and post the first (or favorite if you want to cheat, but fess up if you do) result for each:

  • The name of the town where you were born
  • The name of the town where you live now
  • Your name
  • Your grandmother's name (just pick one)
  • Your favorite food
  • Your favorite drink
  • Your favorite song
  • Your favorite smell

So here are all mine I used the first photo I found.

Lowell, Indiana

This is Main Street in Lowell. Growing up if you'd blink you'd miss our town. It's growing. We have an Aldi. So we're big enough to have bargain shoppers. Neat.

Cedar Rapids, Iowa

This is aerial shot of Cedar Rapids. If you look closely you will notice there is an island in the middle of the river. This is May's Island and it holds our City Hall. We are one of three cities in the world that have their municipal buildings on an island (the other 2 are Paris, France and Osaka, Japan.) Nifty - I know.


Nope. This is not my ass. I wish it was. I did however haul a lot of wood in one of my former jobs. This is Colleen from Survivor. Maybe if I watched that show I would recognize this ass.


No my grandmother is not a body builder or a lesbian talk show host. She does however make a damn good banana cream pie.

Giordano's Chicago Style Pizza

No. Not Pizza. Chicago style pizza. Preferrably Giordano's. Did I mention I am a pizza snob? Cedar Rapids has no great pizza. Just decent - and that place JUST opened. Verdict's still out.

Tom Collins

Made with Beefeater's Gin. It was a toss up - I also really like Diet Coke.

Safety Dance - Men Without Hats

It is not music genius - but it makes me happy every time I hear it. The Barenaked Ladies have WAY too many songs I liked to choose just one. It's a good thing it wasn't your favorite musical group....I would have had to weed through a lot of porn.

Morning Dew

I didn't know how else to put it. When Mr. Chep and I go fishing early in the morning - it's the smell of the lake, the wet grass, maybe it's just morning. It's the best place on earth.

If you decide to do this - let me know so I can check on your site as well!