Monday, November 28, 2005

Mr. Chep - Perpetual Winner

This is Pit.

It is not a game for the timid. It is a game that defines our family. If you can hang in the game of Pit - then you will fit in with our crew just fine.

No Pit doesn't still look like this - but this is the game my parents have. Circa 1973. Retro. Beat-up from heated battles. This game rocks.

Not familiar with the game? Here's a quick summary.

Basically it's a LOUD card game. There are 7 different commodity cards (Corn, Flax, get the idea). ANYWAY - the goal of the game is to trade with other players until you have all 9 cards of the same commodity. You try to yell over other players to get people to trade with you. It's nuts. It's a blast.

Mr. Chep has never played this game. He comes from a very conservative family. They don't yell. Hell they don't even speak loudly at one another. Don't get me wrong - my in-laws are wonderful people. They just aren't - well - my family. Mr. Chep is a lot like his parents. My mother says he didn't speak 5 words the first 3 years they knew him (this was before we were dating/engaged/married but that is a story for another time).

Mr. Chep is reserved - for the most part - BUT - he is competitive. He wins at EVERYTHING. On our first date we played pool at the Purdue student union. He let me win. I could tell by the look on his face. It pained him. I told him never to let me win again. He hasn't.

He is good at everything he picks up. It makes me ill. Here's a perfect example.

My mom picked up this bow hunting game you see Mr. Chep playing at a resale shop - (because she needs more crap)...guess that's not the point. dad has had it for awhile. It didn't come with any directions (not that it would have made a difference) and the only thing my dad has figured out how to do is shoot at a stationary target at the range. In comes Mr. Chep. After 15 minutes Mr. Chep had already mastered the first 3 rounds of the game. Grrr. It took me all weekend to get to round 3.

On to the Pit game. My parents have been playing this game (drunk at parties) longer than I have been alive. Needless to say my sister and I and our spouses thought for sure we would be in for a loosing battle. Mr. Chep won the first round. I took the next 4 rounds. (By this time my neighbors - IN IOWA - could hear my father yelling "SHIT SHIT SHIT" at the end of each round). People were plotting against me. Much to their surprise - Mr. Chep ended up pulling ahead and sneaking in yet another win.

I found out later that Mr. Chep not only won the game but did it while watching CSI. How do I know this? When we came home and watched the recorded show - he told me what happened before the show started! ARGH!

One day I will find a game that I can win while playing him. I have one in mind - I just have to get him to play it with me.....any ideas???


fineartist said...

I still say challenge him to a leg wrestling match.

My boobs are bigger than yours contest?

Who can multi task more?

Can you drink, or talk, him under the table?

I’ve got it, I’ll bet you can find things faster than he can. He doesn’t have the pelvic honing device. Xxx, Lori

Chep said...

Lori - you have a great point! That man can't find anything unless it's right in front of him - and even then it's a challenge!

zilla said...

Mr. Z is the same way -- wins everything, EXCEPT SCRABBLE! I can kick his but at Scrabble. It's the only game I enjoy because it's the only game I have a snowball'c change in hell of winning.

Writer Mom said...

How about a Limbo Contest? Take advantage of his height.
Make it naked limbo, and you might get him to play.

Tom is good at everything, too. He juggles, yo-yos, does impressions. He kills at parties.
And I have never beat Jamoker at a board game in my life.

You're family is so fun, Chepsie. No wonder you're so cool.

(I think we heard shit shit shit down at our house, btw)

Cheryl said...

Beat him at Cheat (Bullshit?)

Its so easy. When you have, for example, two kings to get rid of, just call the two kings but put another three cards on top of them (underneath them when they are face down on the pile). That way when they call your bluff, they always think you told the truth (provided you neaten up/mess up the pile as you place them down)

If you can palm your cards so noone can see how many you place down, you'll always win. It gets boring after a while..........