If you haven't already figured it out - my husband and I don't have children (either that or I don't like them much because I have never mentioned them)
I do however have a dog.
Meet Peppercorn.
She's a 3 year old Miniature Schnauzer and she's like my baby.
She has a "house" (otherwise known as a kennel) next to our bed and she sleeps in it each night. We don't force her - she chooses to sleep there.
My husband (for whatever reason) must close the door to the bedroom when we go to bed. I guess he thinks if someone breaks in - that if the door is closed - they can't get in. "OH well the door is closed - guess I can't go in there..." Whatever.
Anyway - last night I went to bed after my husband and the house was dark. The dog followed me to the bedroom - but apparently did not follow me in. She spent the night - out of her comfort zone. Here is her story:
10:30pm on couch with master.
Ahhh....that one smells like dinnner....see what she thinks of that one.
Blah blah blah does she EVER stop trying to talk that blogger lady into moving to Iowa? Does she ACTUALLY believes anyone will move here? OK sounds like she's done. Finally time for bed.
**Lights darken**
SHIT - where did she go? I was just behind her. She actually almost stepped on me. Damn it's a good thing I'm fast. *BAM* Shit. Door. How do I get in? **rattle rattle** Shit - can't hear me.
I think I'll sit here at the door. Maybe she'll check on me. (5 minutes pass) Well I had best find someplace else to go. This floor is cold.
Couch. Mmmmm...not as nice without mom. Chair! I like the chair. Mmm....smells like....eww I was farting over here. Still smells. Can't stay here.
Maybe I'll check the bathroom. MMMM toilet paper. I had that once. It's fun. I ate it. I pooped it out for 3 days. The masters gagged every time they cleaned up the caca from the yard - that was great. OOhhh but it stopped me up something fierce.
Check the kitchen. Cool stuff in the kitchen. OOhh potatoes. Ate those once too. Threw them up. Smart. Not Smart.
Nevermind. I'll just wait. Right here. By the door.
And that's where she was when the alarm went off at 5am. At the door. Like nothing happened. The unconditional love of a dog. It's great.
2 comments:
If the creatures of the house (myself included) could not sit where farting had commenced earlier in the day, we would have to stand all the time.
Just so you know.
Poor Pepper. She is a good dog. My animals would scratch the door down and then chew off my hair.
Does that have anything to do with your father raising it up three inches? Or something.
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