International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

In honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day here is my name (somewhat appropriate no?)

For more information about this WAY FUN day visit: http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

Your Pirate Name Is...

Arch-Pirate Flirty Fran

What's Your Pirate Name?

Please tell me you'll still love me...

I'm the only one....I think everyone else is RAIN! Please keep me as part of your group.... ;-)

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Eastern Iowa Weekend News....

This is not a news spot.

It is a direct quote from the 10pm news.

When asked if it was going to get warmer the meteorologist stated "Someday - it will. But I would suggest that you two (meaning the 2 news anchors at the desk) keep your pants on."

To which the lady newscaster responded "I got them on today!"

Iowa news...definately interesting.

I have a confession....

OK - I have a confession.

Nothing mind blowing - but a small item you may have suspected (if you have been to my flickr page)

I do not know how to shape eyebrows.

There I said it. Whew. Glad to have that off my chest.

Why do I bring this up today? Well....my eyebrows are a wee bit ghastly. Not uni-brow ghastly - but unshapely and just all around...not pretty. Need proof? Here ya go.






My mother and sister on the other hand have well shaped eyebrows.






What happened to me? Who knows! No one taught me how? Maybe they all thought. "Heck you can't see them anyway...they're blonde. No one will notice.

I noticed. I admit it. I need help.

Kelscraggly is out there thinking - "OMG I thought she's never ask!"
Writermom and her roomies tried to get me to wax my face in college.
There have been attempts. I have failed.

So today I went hunting for good information on how to shape your brows. There isn't any. So if you know of any good sites or any hints - please help me. I don't want to grow up and have these eyebrows!

Kermit the Frog Here

Kermit the Frog
You scored 50% Organization, 50% abstract, and 94% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are mostly organized, both concrete and abstract, and more extroverted.

Here is why are you Kermit the Frog.

You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Kermit is also reasonably tidy. He'll even dress up for interviews.

You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Kermit spends a lot of his time as a reporter collecting facts, but he is also the author of the dreamy song "The Rainbow Connection." You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course.

You are both extroverts. Kermit gets along with everyone. Sure a few folks annoy him, but that's just because they are annoying. Kermit likes to meet new people when he does his job as a street reporter. You definitely enjoy the company of others, and you don't have problems meeting new people... in fact you probably look forward to it. You are willing to take charge when necessary or work as part of a team.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, Kermit starred on Sesame Street years before The Muppet Show.

The other possible characters are
Oscar the Grouch
Big Bird
Snuffleupagus
Ernie
Elmo
Cookie Monster
Grover
The Count
Guy Smiley
Bert

Five years ago today...

I had just started my new job as a trainer for GC Services. We were an operator center for MCI.

It was the first time in a long time that I was working the "day" shift. It was early. I was groggy.

How I found out about the terrorist attacks on the towers is up for debate. Mr. Chep says he called me, I think I called him. Either way - we called one another.

The rest I DO remember.

I was walking through the breakroom where the TV was tuned to GMA. Everyone was stopped in their tracks. I glanced over at the television and saw smoke. I stopped for a closer inspection. Someone leaned over and said, "It's the Twin Towers. There are EMERGENCY signs all over on GEN"

I had just been promoted to a "Trainer" at the call center. It had been almost a year since I had taken an "operator" call (connecting callers for overseas calls, 1-800-Collect....that kind of thing) Suddenly I was thrust into the role of operator. The lines were flooded and they needed operators.

The first call I got was from a distressed caller trying to reach her family in NYC - she was calling from France. I attempted to break through the line - to no avail. We tried several times to get through - when we finally did, I connected it at no charge. It was the least I could do. She was one of the lucky ones.

So was I.

As a phone operator we had callers that were trying to make calls - connect to directory assistance, easy calls. It was the operators that worked in paging that had the heart-wrenching calls. A page from a husband to his wife telling her he loved her; and that he was not going to make it, calls from passengers on Flight 93, and calls that informed emergency crews where survivors were located.

Yes, those operators saved some lives. Others passed on messages to loved ones from burning buildings in NYC.

Iowans played a small part in connecting loved ones on those days - and the weeks to come. I am grateful for the few I was able to assist - and saddened by all those we lost 5 years ago today.

I've been tagged....

I needed the help! It's going to be a long week at work.

So here it goes....

1) A book that changed my life: Geometry I (Author unknown) It was this book that made me realize that I am really terrible at math.
2) A book that I've read more than once: To Kill a Mockingbird
3) A book I'd take to a deserted island: Peterson’s Field Guide: Edible Wild Plants (and yes I own it!)
4) A book that made me laugh: Oh the Places You’ll Go
5) A book that made me cry The Green Mile, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
6) A book I wish I’d written: The Hobbit
7) A book that should never have been written:
8) A book I'm currently reading: Well here’s the sad part; I’m not reading anything. Maybe I should read more of these and get some suggestions!
9) A book I’m planning to read: Harry Potter book 7 (other than that anything Kelscraggly is suggesting)
10) Who I'm tagging next: Kelscraggly, J-Shay (that is if she reads!)


1… Things that scare meTornados (so most Iowa weather)
Being lost in a crowd
Raw chicken (hey it would scare you too if you had salmonella)
Gas station bathrooms

2…People who make me laugh
Lego
Kelscraggly
Writermom
Mr. Chep
Dad
My sister and D

3…Things I hate the mostNon-team players
People that take advantage of other’s good nature
Wet hair
Flesh colored bandaids

4…Things I don’t understand
Math
People who abuse their pets
How I could NOT be allergic to ragweed

5…Things I’m doing right nowWatching the President speak
Answering WM’s meme
Feeling the effects of last night’s chili
Typing

6…Things I want to do before I die
Have children
Visit all the NL and AL ballparks
Travel west of DesMoines, IA
See the Grand Canyon
Kiss the Blarney Stone

7… Things I can do
Bake some damn good cookies
Multi-task
Fix a toilet (although I don’t CHOOSE to)
Crochet

8… Ways to describe my personality
Easy going
Communicator
Um…people say I’m fun???

9… Things I can’t do
Run
The splits.
Backbends
Eat coconut
Intentionally hurt someone’s feelings
Watch reality TV

10…Things I think you should listen to
The Barenaked Ladies complete set (at least once)

11…Things you should never listen to
Noises coming from your dog’s bum (or at least stick around for it)

12…Things I’d like to learn
Excel
HTML
How to say ‘no’ when I’m too busy to take on yet ANOTHER project

13…Favorite foods
Chicago Style pizza
Sushi
Tacos

14…Beverages I drink regularly
Water
Diet Coke

15…Shows I watched as a kid
The Muppets
The Cosby Show
MASH
The smurfs
ChiPs (I loved me some Poncho)

Here's to you...

Here's to you...
Originally uploaded by Chepner.

The (displaced to Iowa) Hoosier girls thank you for all you do!

(It's not Guiness - but it's a fine domestic brew!)

So here's to you Violinsoldier!!

Teens today....

I went to mass with my parents, my sister and brother-in-law on Sunday.

A teenage boy came in with his family. As he passed by our pew we caught a glimpse of the back of his shirt. It read:

"My ladies always come first"

We all looked at each other with mouths wide open.

After mass there was a pancake breakfast. We all discussed the shirt we saw.

My sister thought, "Maybe he doesn't know what it means"
I mentioned, "Maybe the front of his shirt had something totally different"

Well - he and his family did arrive.

So what did the front of his shirt say?

"Chivalry's not dead!"

Dang!

Seeing Red....

This is I-80 Illinois on a normal road trip back home.
This is how everything looked this Sunday.

Cell phone companies irritate me.

We currently "Get things done" with our cell phone company. We have - for the last 3 years.

Well the "Gitter done" company was bought by the "I suppose you can" company - and our customer service went down the toilet.

We had a great plan when we first signed up. Free voicemail, caller ID...the works. Several months after signing up - they politely informed us that we would no longer receive that benefit. (I find this out on Sunday....the husband didn't seem to mind paying the extra bit o cash I suppose)

We never really "outgrew" our plan - but we did try a new service - "Teledirect". It was free try for 30 days. Mr. Chep signed up to use it while out of town on business and promptly cancelled within the 30 day window.

They charged us. Mr. Chep decided it wasn't a big deal - and paid the partial fee.

The following month we received another charge. I called and had our bill adjusted.

The month after that - we were charged again. I called and had that charge removed. I politely informed the CSR if I saw the charge again - I was going to cancel my service. Please make sure it doesn't happen again.

Guess what? It happened again. I called to make sure I was out of my contract (I have been a customer since 2003)...I found out that my contract had been extended without my knowledge when I purchased new phones on a business discount (not a promotional price). This on top of the billing issue that hadn't been resolved - made me call and ask about the cost to cancel my service (after an hour dispute about my contract end date - where the CSR had hung up on my twice and blind transferred me to another department)

Then I got Kristie. She was very apologetic. She wanted to fix my problem. She got to the root cause of my discontent (price of service, poor customer service, etc)

It was at this time (after I threatened to cancel 3 times) that Kristie offered me the same plan I currently have at $40 less then I currently pay.

WHY did it take 6 customer service representatives, 3 threats to cancel, and 2 hours on the phone to get a resolution?

This is what irritates me about phone companies in general. Your rates never change until you call. Then they charge you to change those rates.

Why can't companies just give you the best rate all the time? Why do good customers have to fight and threaten to cancel to get a better deal?

Thanks for letting me rant.

I feel much better.

The Old Salt at Da Cell

Chicago White Sox 2006
Originally uploaded by Chepner.

We have returned!

This Friday was the day when we took my Grandfather (85 years young) to his first "big league" ball game. This photo may not prove it - but he was thrilled.

The game started at 7:30pm and ended 11:00pm. By the time we got home...it was 1:30am. Grandpa never fell asleep. I think he was still reeling from the experience.

There were 2 homeruns hit during the game (a HUGE thrill for Grandpa) 2 broken bats....but the score was not in our favor.

White Sox: 4
Twins: 5

It wasn't the score we wanted - but seeing my grandfather's face when Konerko hit the first homerun of the game.....priceless.

It was worth every penny.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY K!

Don't Cry K - 30 isn't all that bad!

Yes - that's correct. My kid sister turned 30 today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY K!!!

Friday Feast

Appetizer
What color is your car? Today: Blue (Mr. Chep's truck) Normally: Pewter?

Soup
If you could wake up tomorrow with full training in another occupation and a job in that field, what would it be? Some sort of researcher - like the Martinez on Criminal Minds...I love her.

Salad
How many times in your life have you had the flu (or something similar)? Who seriously knows the answer to this question? Even I don't - and they all say I have OCD!

Main Course
What is something that has happened to you this week that you didn't expect? See previous post.

Dessert
How old were you when you had your first kiss? Funny thing....Mr. Chep will probably meet the guy next weekend when we are home! I was 7. He chased me around the gym until he caught me.

The Guilty Conscience

I know....I've been a bad blogger. I've been at the gym. :-)

Why is it when your boss asks you to "close the door" we all assume it's going to be bad. Even if we haven't done anything wrong???

Is it something that our parent's ingrained in our skulls at a young age? Is it the cliche...."We need to talk" talk?

Whatever it is....it gave me a heart attack today.

I went into S's office today to file some paperwork in the manager's file. S is a busy man so I try to keep my visits to his office minimal and short.

S: Hey Chep (he didn't call me Chep....but he has) go ahead and close the door. I want to talk to you before I get a million people in my office today.

Ah Crap....I think I saw him with one of those communications forms up earlier today....I wonder if that's for me...I see him whip one of those bad boys out and give it to me..I start to panic.

S: I want to read this.

**OK - don't show that you're worried - grab the paper....pretend to read....scan for diciplinary action.....wait....did I see a "exceptional on there??" I look up and see S just grinning....I start to re-read.

Basically he was telling me his good performance is due to my performance.

He got one of these too....it was a communication for commendable performance. He had gotten a written communication from the Academic Dean for commendable performance at his job and for an exceptional file audit.

He turned around and tossed me a compliment stating he couldn't have done it without me (not in those words....that would be hokey) but you get the idea.

I must admit it made my day. Heck I would have to say it made my week.

Thought for today

While on my way to work this morning they had a contest on the radio to win tickets to see Korn.

The callers had to answer questions in "lightning round" fashion.

The first 3 callers bombed.

The question you ask?

"How many states make up the continental United States?"

Caller 1: 50
Caller 2: 50
Caller 3: 52?

FIFTY-TWO?

Whoa.

US Cellular Field - HERE WE COME!

Well he did it!

Mama Chep forwarded my original post to her brother (Uncle D) who worked his magic and hooked us (me, Mr. Chep, Grandpa, Uncle D and Aunt B) up with tickets to the White Sox!!

I called my grandfather this evening and he was thrilled (well as thrilled as my grandfather gets!)

We won't be going until late August - which seemed like a long time from now, but when I put it in the terms of days (about 20) he perked right up! I think the only thing that would make him happier is if the doctor would tell him he could drive again.

I'll be sure to take tons of pictures!

Public Potty Talk

In the most recent edition of our school newspaper (yup I'm the editor, reporter and printer) I wrote an article discussing "professional appearance" on campus. This dealt with: dress code, personal hygiene, grooming and professional language. The idea was spawned not only from the lack of undergarments on students but the converstations overheard in the hallways very similar to this one found on Writermom's website **NOTE: if you have not read this - you should it's hilarious! (This means you "WB" when you have that girl you could very well have this conversation in your own home - so READ! That's an order!)

This is a true account of what happened to me while in the ladies room the other day at work. This was the MAIN reason I wrote the half page article.

I am sitting quietly in the ladies room, removing the 2 liters of water I have taken in during the day (OK - it wasn't 2 liters - more like 3 bottles and it wasn't ALL water - most of it was Diet Coke) but anyway....I am alone - well I WAS alone.

The door to the ladies room bursts open.

"I told you I have class today. I will be home to watch the kids before you have to leave for work"
(The stall door slams shut and the latch of the stall door slides into place)
"No Seriously! I will. I worked it out that way."
(The sound of pee running into the toilet at high velocity)
"He's doing WHAT? Well tell him to stop! He knows better"
(Flush)
"NO he can't have a cookie! Tell him to stop crying"
(Faucet runs for 10 seconds and then the hand dryer starts up)
"What? Hold on. I can't hear you."
(Door opens and girl exits - still blabbing away)

I am still sitting there. Shocked. Stunned really.

Writermom/Kelscraggly: I know what you are thinking. "In our long, late night converstations I KNOW you have taken our call into the throne room. Ah yes, but I have never taken you to a PUBLIC JOHN.

I am used to the chatter that happens in the ladies room. I went to college - I lived in a dorm. In fact, the girls down the hall would use the toilet, leave the stall doors open (with the mirror above the sink in front of them) look at each other in the mirrow and talk to each other....and every other girl that walked in the common bathroom to brush her teeth. (Yes it happened to me)

Difference you ask? Dorm. We kind of expected weird shit to go on the in the bathroom. We all knew each other on Harper 2. We RARELY let visitors use the bathroom. WHY? Because we all knew our floormates did odd things in the bathroom.

This chatty student not only shared HER bathroom noises - but MY bathroom noises with her friend on the other line. I felt voilated. Just a little less innocent.

I would like to say: "These kids today - they have no respect for others privacy." But I can't. My husband of 7 years (who is 3 years younger than I am) still "sits down" with the door closed and locked. (I like to think it's for his privacy and my safety) As for *** and ***- they have to remind themselves to close the door when they have company! (***Names removed to protect the guilty***)

Mom used to tell us that "Potty talk is not appropriate in public - espcially at the dinner table" Cordless phones weren't invented yet - so she didn't even think to include "Talking on the phone in a public potty is also inappropriate"

I'm thinking we'll cover that at my house!

A Night at Geekville

It's official.

Brad and I are geeks.

We spent the evening watching Mythbustas. I have to say...I did learn something.

If you are throwing a party and you forgot to chill the beer - if you place your cans in salt/ice water it will chill your 6 pack (to 37 degrees) in 5 minutes.

The only way to chill your beer faster is with a fire extinguisher (2 minutes). Granted it costs a bit more - but it IS faster!

Party ON!

What I learned this weekend....

Easy money can come with a price.

My good friend Kelscraggly works for a company that is privvy to new clinic study information before it's released to the public. The most recent study was allergy related and Kelscraggly thought I would be interested.

To qualify it was necessary for me to stop taking my allergy medicine for 3 days, go to Iowa City to get tested, and if I qualified for the study I could be eligible for the $300! SIGN ME UP! Help science determine if there is a better way to fight Ragweed and make some moola? Hells yes! Mr. Chep was concerned about me stopping my allergy medicine - but I assured him I would be fine.

That was Monday. On Thursday I went down to IC for the first step in the study. I read all the rules of the study and donated my arm to science. They placed 3 drops of stuff (yes that's the scientific term) on my arm and scratched my skin to let it "sink" in. This was the test to see if I was allergic to Ragweed. So I wait for something to happen. All of a sudden part of my arm starts to burn and itch. Holy good god. Talk about ITCHY! Much to my dismay - that was not the ragweed. Come to find out - Chep isn't allergic to ragweed. Huh. Ah well. At least I know what it isn't. There are only a hundred other things it could be....Kelscraggly says she will take me down sometime and we'll figure it out. NO kidding...I'd like to know why the heck I am taking the allegra.

As soon as I came back from the study I started back on my allergy medicine. Come to find out - it wasn't soon enough. I am now suffering from a stuffy head, sinus pressure and coughing like MAD. Grrr...

So two lessons here.
1. Allergy medicine is my friend.
2. I am not allergic to ragweed.

Saturday my friend "M" had a party at her house in IC. She had her husband have a beautiful house situated on a pond. Houses in their neighborhood are fairly close together. The people in the house 2 doors down leave the blinds open and walk around nude. We had a few "shows" before they realized it would be a good idea to shut the blinds.

Later that evening - the sirens were blowing and the firetruck whizzed by the house. So "S" turned on the scanner to find out what happened ("S" is an EMT). There were no flames - but an a LOAD of smoke. Come to find out the homeowner (who was not home) left a pot on the stove and it melted. The firemen had to "break-in" the house to remove the hazard and air out the house. In case you were wondering - the firemen left a note about the fire and what happened.

Lessons here:
3. If you walk around nude in your home...close your blinds.
4. A melted pot makes an assload of smoke.
5. If you are not home and the fire department enters your house - they leave you a note on your door!

I spent today on the couch (coughing up a lung) and checking the Mackinac Race results. My uncle's boat's name is Majic. No results yet, but I keep checking.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend - and maybe you learned a little from my post today!

Meme I Stole From Kelscraggly

GRUB-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice?
Red French/Catalina/Western….depends on where you’re from on what ya call it.

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
Culver’s

What is your favorite sit down restaurant?
Giordano’s

On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
20-25%

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Crab

Name three foods you detest above all others.
Coconut, Canteloupe, peas

What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant?
Hot and sour soup

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Depends on the location of the pizza joint. Iowa – Pepperoni. Chicago – SAUSAGE!

What do you like to put on your toast?
Canadian Raspberry Preserves

What is your favorite type of gum?
I love them all.(well except grape)

TECH-OLOGY
Number of contacts in your cell phone?
More than Mr. Chep

Number of contacts in your email address book?
Work - So many you just might gag.

What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Home: Clouds. Work: Daisy (Both photos I took myself)

What is your screensaver on your computer?
Default

Are there naked pictures saved on your computer?
Well Mr. Chep and I share computers….so hard tellin.

How many land line phones do you have in your house?
One

How many televisions are in your house?
Two

What kitchen appliance do you use the least?
Blender

What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most?
XM Radio - online

BI-OLOGY
What do you consider to be your best physical attribute?
Smile

Are you right handed or left handed?
Right

Do you like your smile?
Indeed

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Teeth (not wisdom)

Would you like to?
Not really…

Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom?
I’m too quick to read.

Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
Smell…

When was the last time you had a cavity?
A year ago

What is the heaviest item you lift regularly?
My fat butt out of bed.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Briefly when I hit a fence full speed.

MISC-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
NO.

If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
Not sure I would.

How do you express your artistic side?
Preparing candies.

What color do you think you look best in?
Blue

How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison?
Mama Chep would kill me before I made it there.

Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
I worked in a park and mowed regularly so bugs were on the menu often.

If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at?
NO.

How often do you go to church?
Oye..NEXT?

Have you ever saved someone’s life?
If you count giving blood…then yeah.

Has someone ever saved yours?
People have saved my ass…

DARE-OLOGY
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
Tax free?

Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Sure.

Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000?
Do I get to choose?

Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
I have had dismemberment insurance and never did – so I’m thinkin no.

Would you never blog again for $50,000?
Yeah – but I’m not sure I could give up the flickr.

Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
Not sure I could do that….

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Yeah – I love me some hot sauce.

Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
Nope, couldn’t do that.

Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000?
My hair grows fast – and most people pay to have their bodies waxed so SURE!

Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
Yes.